BUSH PLEA TO CAMERON DIAZ OVER 'ONIONISTS'

ImageFORMER US president George W Bush has urged Hollywood actress Cameron Diaz to help secure the support of 'onionists' for the devolution of policing powers in Northern Ireland.

 

Read more...
 
WOMAN COMPLETES FILM WITHOUT BANGING IT INTO OTHER FILM

ImageKATHRYN Bigelow was last night honoured for completing a film without bumping it into any other films in the immediate vicinity.

Read more...
 
SUGABABES 'DATE BACK TO HENRY VIII'

ImageAN EARLY form of Sugababes could have existed during the reign of King Henry VIII, it emerged last night.

Read more...
 
TORY CAMPAIGN TO FOCUS ON MARGINAL WIVES

ImageTHE Conservative Party leadership are to shift the focus of their election campaign to securing the support of their own wives.

Read more...
 
FERGUSON DISTANCES HIMSELF FROM THING THAT DOES SEEM TO BENEFIT EVERYONE INVOLVED

ImageMANCHESTER United manger Sir Alex Ferguson last night rejected claims he was involved in a plan that will help millionaires become richer and shut thousands of miserable fans the fuck up.

Read more...
 
HUGE RISE IN PEOPLE BEING BLACKMAILED BY THEIR OWN WHEELIE BINS

ImageTHE number of people paying hush money to their wheelie bins has increased by 60 percent in the last 12 months, it emerged last night.

Read more...
 
<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next > End >>

THE NEWS IN PICTURES



Crufts supreme champion
looks like actual dog


 


Gillian Taylforth declared
national emergency

Subscribe to the Mash

Get the Weekly Mash (it's free)

GET MASH HEADLINES

News Briefly

 
Drink drive limit to be cut from probably about two pints
New limit will be the equivalent of more or less a pint, depending on whether or not you've eaten a lot of bread.

Drivers urged to kill each other
CBI says Britain's roads will be a lot quieter after blood-soaked free-for-all where the rules are there are no rules.

Your stars: pisces



Spring is definitely in the air
as you spray your colleagues'
desks with your pungent urine
and strut up and down in front
of the large-breasted temp,
ostentatiously displaying the
lining of your new jacket.


 
 
 

Search The Mash