Stock exchange bomb plot suggests Al Qaeda now on our side
A PLOT to blow up the London Stock Exchange suggests that Islamic terrorists now want to do us a favour, it has emerged.
Saudi women banned from self-service check-outs
SAUDI women have been banned from using supermarket self check-outs amid fears the female voiced systems could lead to homosexuality and the extinction of virgins.
Ed Miliband owes Britain £900m
ED Miliband cost Britain the best part of a billion pounds yesterday.
Decline in marine life possibly due to all the shit in the sea, say experts
THE decline in marine life may in some way be connected to all the shit, piss and bleach pumped in there every single day by everyone in the world, it has been claimed.
Rioters 'not introduced to violence early enough'
A SENIOR Labour MP has blamed last year's riots on parents failing to introduce their children to violence as quickly as possible.
Controversial thinker behind 'insania' theory to address Oxford Union
THE radical philosopher who believes the world is in the grip of combined insanity and mania is to speak at Oxford University.
People may be forced to re-thieve stuff
MEGAUPLOAD users may have to spend several days stealing Family Guy episodes all over again.
Andy Carroll listed on Ebay
LIVERPOOL has placed former striker Andy Carroll on the auction site Ebay with a reserve price of 99p.- Hester turns down shares in unsuccessful bank
- Number of people going to university almost back to where it should be
- Thomas Cook ad to feature 'Debaser'
- Cameron acting like the dictator of Gaydonia, says Archbishop
- Evra gets 24-hour protection from cheeky Scouse wit
- Women offered chance to give birth anally
- The days are getting longer, say cheerful dickheads
- Phase one complete, Dacre tells home planet
- OK, we'll get jobs, say poor people
- Pathological self-absorption now mandatory
- Werewolf!
- BBC4 named ponciest channel at National TV Awards
- Sally Morgan to be represented by disembodied voice of Abraham Lincoln
- Bernard Manning defrosted
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