Decapitated skeletons 'probably worked in Downing Street' "Their heads seem to have been removed by some sort of electronic device thrown with tremendous force by an unhinged sociopath who will do absolutely anything to remain prime minister," says archaeologist
Government unveils latest high speed rail bullshit that's never going to happen "This will one will go from London to Aberystwyth in 14 seconds and comes with a lovely matching hat," says transport minister
Your stars: libra
Your neighbour comes home from work this week to find that passive- aggressive little note he taped to your car has been reproduced on the side of an 18-wheel lorry and driven through his front window.
PASSAGES in the Old Testament predict the current relationship problems between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, according to a leading academic.
ADMINISTRATORS were last night called in to retail chain Ethel Austin, as thousands insisted it definitely went out of business no later than 1961.
FABIO Capello was in buoyant mood last night after England were drawn against the mythical land of Narnia in the 2012 European qualifiers.
DIMWITS and mediocrities too stupid to get a proper job are not above the law, according to a legal expert.
