Decapitated skeletons 'probably worked in Downing Street' "Their heads seem to have been removed by some sort of electronic device thrown with tremendous force by an unhinged sociopath who will do absolutely anything to remain prime minister," says archaeologist
Government unveils latest high speed rail bullshit that's never going to happen "This will one will go from London to Aberystwyth in 14 seconds and comes with a lovely matching hat," says transport minister
Your stars: libra
Your neighbour comes home from work this week to find that passive- aggressive little note he taped to your car has been reproduced on the side of an 18-wheel lorry and driven through his front window.
TAXI drivers in Southampton have installed signs reassuring passengers they speak nasty, ill-informed horseshit.
HAGS and crones will take centre stage in the BBC's spring schedule as the corporation announces a big increase in witch-themed programming.
TREES will not uproot themselves and embark on blood-soaked killing sprees by 2035, global warming experts have admitted.
