Hairy bikers admit cookery a front for drug and gun trafficking
JOVIAL television bike gang members David Myers and Simon King have confessed to extensive criminal activities after multiple shootings at the recording of their latest series.
Scientists capture person who buys fantasy-themed ornaments
THE mysterious individual who single-handedly sustained the market for pewter dragon statuettes is being held at a secure laboratory.
'Get out of my house, you monster' Britain tells mother
BRITAIN told its mother to get the hell out of its house today after 24 hours of Machiavellian psycho-terror.
Most betting shop regulars now multi-millionaires
THE majority of people who frequent betting shops are worth in excess of seven figures, according to new data.
Conga crash claims 37
POLICE are appealing for witnesses after a conga line collision resulted in the deaths of 37 people during a retirement party.
Tube drivers in fresh bid to become more hated than footballers
UNDERGROUND train-monkeys are hoping their Boxing Day strike will make them more nauseatingly abhorrent than professional footballers.
Happy birthday Jesus
Jerusalem's Got Talent.
Starbucks trashed in pre-Christmas milf brawl
NINETEEN women are in custody after the Salisbury branch of Starbucks was destroyed in Britain's biggest milf brawl.- Journalists' Wives single remains unbought
- Paul Dacre institutionalised, 600 of his journalists on medication...
- Thief gets to open Abbey Clancy's ghastly Christmas presents
- Liverpool sticking with 'Uruguayan racism is really friendly'
- Kim Jong Un waiting on IT support
- CNN 'can't remember' who gave away Piers Morgan's parking space
- Scientists find car made of dinosaur bones
- Britain is our bitch, says Goldman Sachs
- Ecclestone daughter tackles prejudice against superficiality
- North Korea to execute Kim Jong Il's heart attack
- Tax breaks to encourage two people to fantasise about killing each other
- Wenger admits Arsenal cannot win 1980 cup final
- Beach Boys reunion spells defeat for Beach Boys fans
- Reader offer
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