Panic as Britain Huhneless
BRITAIN is in the hands of a Huhneless government.
IT professionals deny they would ever help anyone
CLAIMS surrounding James Murdoch's missing emails have prompted IT staff to deny they would ever assist a colleague with anything, ever.
Goodwin loses knighthood for same reasons he got knighthood
THE reasons for Fred Goodwin getting and losing his knighthood could have been separated at birth, it has been confirmed.
William to appease Argentina with Nazi uniform
PRINCE William is to ease the growing tension with Argentina by borrowing his brother's SS uniform.
Capello advised not to select anybody
FABIO Capello has been asked to submit an empty team sheet for Euro 2012 to avoid selecting gits.
Transfer window round-up, with Brian Sewell
JANUARY is traditionally the month in which my friends and I assess our collections to see which pieces are surplus to requirement and arrange an auction at the Garrick.
Men thank their mothers for not being Denise Welch
MEN across Britain have forgiven their mothers for everything they have said or done after encountering Denise Welch.
Facebook IPO fails because nobody can find 'Buy' button
THE first public listing of Facebook has failed after users could not find the bit of the website that allows them to buy shares.- UK braced for mediocre weather photography
- Stock exchange bomb plot suggests Al Qaeda now on our side
- Saudi women banned from self-service check-outs
- Ed Miliband owes Britain £900m
- Decline in marine life possibly due to all the shit in the sea, say experts
- Rioters 'not introduced to violence early enough'
- Controversial thinker behind 'insania' theory to address Oxford Union
- People may be forced to re-thieve stuff
- Andy Carroll listed on Ebay
- Hester turns down shares in unsuccessful bank
- Number of people going to university almost back to where it should be
- Thomas Cook ad to feature 'Debaser'
- Cameron acting like the dictator of Gaydonia, says Archbishop
- Evra gets 24-hour protection from cheeky Scouse wit
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