Woods Caddie Denies Clubs Smelled Of Skank
TIGER Woods' caddie has dismissed claims the golfer hid evidence of his numerous affairs inside his golf bag.
Hospital Cleaners Help Kill Off Greedy Pensioners
HOSPITAL cleaners create £10 of value for every £1 they are paid because they help kill off thousands of people who would otherwise be claiming a state pension, according to new research.
Hubble Telescope Discovers Vast Galaxy Made Of Porn
THE Hubble telescope has captured images of an enormous galaxy made up entirely of pornography, astronomers have claimed.
Labour MP Is Named Quentin
GORDON Brown's plan for a class war against the Conservatives was in tatters last night after it emerged that one of his MPs is named Quentin.
Tesco And iPhone Combine As Foretold In Ancient Prophecy
SUPERMARKET giant Tesco has confirmed it will sell the Apple iPhone, thus creating the twin colossi of rampaging evil as foretold by scripture.
Charities Launch Appeal For Celebrity Cocaine Money
A GROUP of leading charities last night launched GakAid, a joint Christmas appeal urging celebrities to donate one percent of their nosebag money to Africa.
Tories To Buy Darling A House
THE Conservative Party last night offered to buy chancellor Alistair Darling the home of his dreams.
- Drinkers Keep Faith With Bullshit Hangover Cures
- Liverpool Turn Corner Into Terrifying Alley Full Of Zombies
- Avatar 'Greatest Ever Film With Blue Pretend Cat People'
- Rich Early Favourites In Battle Against Poor
- Children Must Work Off Cost Of Flu Jab, Say Docs
- Charity Concert For Pampered Millionaire Superstar
- Poor People Are So Tedious, Say Experts
- Bonuses No Longer Linked To Being Good At Things
- Internet Porn Safety Lessons To Replace Maths
- Hamster Toy Contains Dangerous Levels Of Horse Vagina
- Save The Planet For Us, Say Selfish, Undeserving Little Turds
- Brown Unveils Radical Package Of Lies And Bullshit
- Advertising Feature
- Rustenberg Spontaneously Bursts Into Flames
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