Strauss 'Relaxed, Focused And Ready For Annihilation'
ENGLAND cricket captain Andrew Strauss arrived in South Africa yesterday insisting he was 'absolutely raring' to have his arse handed to him on a plate.
Sex With Obama 'Better Than Sex', Claims First Lady
SEXUAL intercourse with President Barack Obama is better than sex, his wife has revealed.
Ecstasy Is Mental, Says Drugs Czar
THE government's chief advisor on drugs has described his first Ecstasy experience as 'utterly, utterly mental'.
色情 Is Chinese For Pornography
色情 is the Chinese for pornography, the internet regulator confirmed last night.
Ordinary Europeans Denied Chance To Hate Tony Blair
MILLIONS of ordinary Europeans look set to lose their chance of getting steadily sick of Tony Blair until they despise him with every fibre of their being.
Rodent Infested KFC Sued For Animal Cruelty
FAST food chain KFC is to be sued for animal cruelty after a swarm of mice was poisoned by a deluxe boneless box at its Leicester Square branch.
Man Offers Hand Job For Grimsby-Port Vale Ticket
A STOKE man last night defended his offer of vigorous masturbation in exchange for tickets to see Grimsby versus Port Vale.
- BNP Question Time To Replace Christmas For Guardian Readers
- Agassi Sold Hair To Buy Drugs
- Church Of Scientology Guilty Of Acting Like A Church
- Medium-Sized Potato Tops Christmas Toy Charts
- MPs 'Should Be Banned From Thieving'
- Millions Volunteer To Fire A Crossbow At Aa Gill
- Meat-Eaters To Finally Be Treated Like Smokers
- Iceland Begins Desperate Search For New Cheesey Gristle Supplier
- Credit Card Firms Told To Stop Leaving Horses' Heads Everywhere
- Census To Be Very Dirty
- Ferguson Calls R-Word A C-Word
- Google Urged To Help Victims Of U2 Concert
- BNP To Offer Free Didgeridoo Lessons
- Robot Checkout Staff Will Gossip Against Humanity, Say Experts
News in Pictures
|
|
|
|
