Press Stole My Dignity, Not Gang Of Whores Thrashing My Bare Arse, Claims Mosley
MOTORSPORT boss Max Mosley has accused the press of stealing his dignity rather than the gang of whores he paid to thrash his quivering buttocks with a riding crop.
Fears Grow That Red Riding May Have Been Shit
FEARS were growing last night that the landmark television series Red Riding may have been a lot of shit.
Chimpanzee Displays Human Trait Of Not Liking Prison
A CHIMPANZEE in a Swedish zoo has displayed the distinctly human characteristic of not enjoying being locked up against his will.
Public Urges Ross And Morgan To Fight To The Death
THE vicious feud between Piers Morgan and Jonathan Ross could be settled by a very straightforward fight to the death, it was claimed last night.
Back To Basics At Crufts As Best In Show Goes To Deformed Rat
CRUFTS, the world's biggest dog show, last night shrugged off recent controversies and went back to basics by awarding the top prize to one of those weird little dogs that looks like a deformed rodent.
‘My Son Pushed His Willy Between His Legs And Pretended To Be A Girl’
AUTHOR Julie Myerson last night stepped up her attack on estranged son Jake by revealing how he used to dance around naked with his penis between his thighs pretending to be Bonnie Langford.
King Unveils Radical Plan To Fuck Britain Into Middle Of Next Week
BANK of England governor Mervyn King last night unveiled his latest radical plan to take Britain and fuck it squarely into the middle of next week.
Ramsay Decides Not To Swear At Bank Manager
GORDON Ramsay did not swear once during a meeting with his bank manager to discuss the £10 million debt run up by his restaurant business, it emerged last night.
- Jackson To Be Sold For Spares
- Why Are All The Pubs Closing? Ask People Who Never Go To The Pub
- Someone Claiming To Be Me Has Been Saying It’s All Your Fault, Brown Tells America
- Britney May As Well Be A Corpse Puppet, Say Fans
- Injecting Foul Smelling Gas Directly Into Your Penis Will Improve Sex Life, Say Experts
- Obama Obviously Has A New Watch, Says Brown
- BT Delighted With Latest Monopoly
- Scientists To Continue Embryo Stem-Cell Research Purely To Annoy Christians
- Make Goodwin Give Back His Pension, Brown Tells Obama
- 'Obscene' Gravity Must Be Repealed, Says Harman
- University Challenge Contestant May Not Have Been Worthless Layabout
- Ryanair Planes To Smell Strongly Of Urine And Faeces
- Brown Refuses To Hand Back Pension
- Weekending
News in Pictures
|
|
|
|
