
Rioters 'not introduced to violence early enough'
A SENIOR Labour MP has blamed last year's riots on parents failing to introduce their children to violence as quickly as possible.

Controversial thinker behind 'insania' theory to address Oxford Union
THE radical philosopher who believes the world is in the grip of combined insanity and mania is to speak at Oxford University.
People may be forced to re-thieve stuff
MEGAUPLOAD users may have to spend several days stealing Family Guy episodes all over again.
Andy Carroll listed on Ebay
LIVERPOOL has placed former striker Andy Carroll on the auction site Ebay with a reserve price of 99p.
Hester turns down shares in unsuccessful bank
STEPHEN Hester last night turned down a share bonus package after discovering the shares were in the Royal Bank of Scotland.
Number of people going to university almost back to where it should be
THE number of young people going to university could soon be the same as the number of young people who should be going to university, it has been confirmed.
Thomas Cook ad to feature 'Debaser'
THOMAS Cook has become the latest travel company to base a television advert on a song by the Pixies.
Cameron acting like the dictator of Gaydonia, says Archbishop
DAVID Cameron is acting as if he is the dictator of the People's Republic of Gaydonia, the Archbishop of York has claimed.
- Evra gets 24-hour protection from cheeky Scouse wit
- Women offered chance to give birth anally
- The days are getting longer, say cheerful dickheads
- Phase one complete, Dacre tells home planet
- OK, we'll get jobs, say poor people
- Pathological self-absorption now mandatory
- Werewolf!
- BBC4 named ponciest channel at National TV Awards
- Sally Morgan to be represented by disembodied voice of Abraham Lincoln
- Bernard Manning defrosted
- Obama attacked for not calling Republicans a bunch of dicks
- TFL promises uninterrupted tosspottery
- Occupy record 'may have a rap in it'
- Furious entertainment industry promises year from hell










