VIEIRA MISTOOK WHELAN FOR NAZI SOLDIER

ImagePATRICK Vieira has defended his attack on Glenn Whelan by claiming he was in the middle of a Word War Two flashback.

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EDMONDS' WIFE QUESTIONED OVER ABSENCE OF MERCY KILLING

ImageNOEL Edmonds' wife was being questioned by police last night over why she has failed to smother him in his sleep.

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MEN REVEAL PAIN AT CHERYL'S LACK OF PROMISCUITY

ImageCHERYL Cole's refusal to indulge in graphic sexual misdemeanours is causing 'deep and lasting pain' to Britain's men, it emerged yesterday.

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UK BUSINESSMAN WANTED OVER DEATH OF BILLIONAIRE MEGALOMANIAC

ImageA BRITISH businessman has been named as the prime suspect in the death of a billionaire intent on taking over the world.

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POOR PEOPLE HAVING BRILLIANT SEX, SAY EXPERTS

ImagePOOR people are having hours of glorious, acrobatic sex, unencumbered by the nuisance of condoms, it emerged last night.

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IRAN FULL OF NUTTERS, SAYS CLINTON

ImageHILLARY Clinton opened a new chapter in the West's diplomatic relations with Iran yesterday by describing the country as 600,000 square miles of sand-infested whackjobs.

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THE NEWS IN PICTURES



Outed gay, right-wing
senator still anti-leather

 


Confused Fiennes pops to chemist
and ends up at North Pole

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Multi-million pound referendum ends in disappointment for leaf-filled bucket rights activists.

Your stars: aries


The idea of working at your
relationship may be unfashionable
but it is the best way to give it
a fighting chance. Why not get
straight onto it as soon as
the pubs are shut?
 
 
 
 

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