CONSTANT coverage of Gordon Brown's psychosis is beginning to distract voters from how appalling he is at being prime minister, Labour strategists claimed last night.
Karen Fenessey 'We've given the green light to battalions of orange schoolgirls to repeatedly copulate with train conductors and weathermen. And nobody needs to see that.' read more...
News Briefly
Schools urge government to make drug slightly more expensive and a lot more dangerous "We're only trying not to help," says National Association of Head Teachers
'We just assumed it was first years' semen' says top public school "If something tastes funny round here it usually means there's a load of spunk in it," admits spokesman
Your stars: taurus
This week you will suggest an insurance scheme for dogs and then abandon it four days later because you're an over-rated arsewit who has no business running the Home Office.
THE Royal Family are preparing to return to their home planet near Sirius, according to the Queen's astronomer.
THE musical Grease is absolutely disgusting, a new generation of parents suddenly remembered yesterday.
OCCASIONAL sports fans have begrudgingly fired up Wikipedia in an attempt to understand exactly what Amy Williams won a medal for.
TIGER Woods had intercourse with up to five different women during his televised apology, it emerged last night.
