DIMWITTED MEDIOCRITIES 'NOT ABOVE THE LAW'

ImageDIMWITS and mediocrities too stupid to get a proper job are not above the law, according to a legal expert.

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TOYOTA URGED TO LEAVE STING'S PRIUS ALONE

ImageTOYOTA was last night urged to fix the brakes on more than 250,000 Prius hybrids as quickly as possible, except Sting's.

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AVRAM GRANT CONGRATULATED ON FANTASTIC WIFE

ImageFOOTBALL manager and brothel enthusiast Avram Grant has the world's finest wife, according to a new survey.

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46 YEAR-OLD MAN SELLS VIRGINITY IN LOCAL FREESHEET

ImageA QUIET, middle-aged science fiction and traction engine enthusiast has advertised his virginity for £6 or nearest offer.

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HALF OF MPs LIE THEIR WAY OUT OF REPAYING EXPENSES

ImageHALF of all MPs will be forced to repay expenses while the other half have somehow managed to lie their way out of it, according to a report published today.

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FAIRYTALE COMES TRUE AS SKANK MARRIES CAGE FIGHTER

ImageIT is every little girl's dream - to carve out a career as a fake-breasted, professional skank and then marry her perfect cage fighter in a Las Vegas casino.

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Mark Owen likes girls


 


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Decapitated skeletons 'probably worked in Downing Street'
"Their heads seem to have been removed by some sort of electronic device thrown with tremendous force by an unhinged sociopath who will do absolutely anything to remain prime minister," says archaeologist

Government unveils latest high speed rail bullshit that's never going to happen
"This will one will go from London to Aberystwyth in 14 seconds and comes with a lovely matching hat," says transport minister

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Your neighbour comes home
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passive- aggressive little note
he taped to  your car has been
reproduced on the side of an
18-wheel lorry and driven
through his front window.

 
 
 

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