Stair gate stops child, dog and grandmother


A STAIR gate has proved to be a successful barrier to a baby, a pet dog and a grandmother.

Boris Johnson proves exercise is bullshit, say experts

BORIS Johnson has baffled scientists by cycling every day but never looking any different.

Woman thrown out of bar for ordering non-artisan gin

A WOMAN has been ejected from a bar for not caring about the 400 different brands of gin on offer.

Woman outrages neighbours by barbecuing for herself

A MIDLANDS woman has outraged friends and neighbours by having a barbecue without any man being in attendance.

Manchester United finally appoint manager as loathsome as they are

MANCHESTER United have finally found a manager as entitled, self-important and prone to temper tantrums as the club itself.

Cameron faces harsh performance review after missing migrant targets

THE prime minister has admitted he is not looking forward to his next performance review after missing his migrant target by a quarter of a million.

Every member of smiling Pizza Express team considering job options

EVERY member of the dedicated team launching a new Pizza Express is looking for alternative work, it has emerged.

Non-conformist nutter is pro-EU

A CONSPIRACY theorist, UFO nut and street-ranter has surprised everyone by being a fervent supporter of the In campaign.