Britain ‘mystified’ more seven-year-old children haven’t made unaccompanied 2,300 mile journey from Syria
MILLIONS of Britons are surprised at how few seven-year-old refugees have journeyed alone across the whole of Europe.
SHOTS do not count as a round of drinks, expert drinkers have agreed.
THE SUN has confirmed that if the Queen dares breathe one compassionate word about immigrants she is fucking gone.
A SEAGULL has landed at the summit of a litter bin and proclaimed himself the ruler of all he surveys.
AN UNDERAGE boy has been served a pint of beer by his local pub after age recognition software confirmed that he was 44 years old.
THE Liberal Democrats’ second place in the Witney by-election confirmed them as the party Britain turns to when all hope is lost.
THE prime minister has lost British sovereignty to Germany in a game of poker at the European summit in Brussels.
RADIOHEAD have been booked in Glastonbury’s Sunday afternoon slot for heritage acts whose music young people enjoy ironically.
- Sad, desperate man thinks woman’s body language is flirtatious
- Patchy Skype call becomes blame game over who has shittest internet
- Vegetarian excited by single choice on restaurant menu
- Ask Holly: It has been a mental few days but now I am back in my cage
- Government to build runways everywhere and let the market decide