Massive toad totally running riverbank

A MASSIVE toad has his area of riverbank totally under control.

Electric car owner excited to spend quality time in tow truck

THE owner of a new electric car is excited about being towed everywhere.

Mark Wahlberg confirmed as god of incredibly average men

UNINTERESTING men have hailed Mark Wahlberg as their god.

Boring couple constantly buggering about with house

A BORING couple are constantly buggering about making pointless alterations to their house.

The toughest part of being a millennial is writing all these shitty columns about it

WE ARE forced to wank out these articles about being millennials.

School holiday parents developing thousand yard stares

EVEN the hardest of parents are developing a blank gaze during the latter stages of the school holidays, it has emerged.

Doctor Who fans furious to discover it is load of bollocks

ANGRY Doctor Who fans have condemned the programme after realising it is total bollocks.