No-one surprised to discover strange colleague was homeschooled

WORKERS have expressed no surprise that their strange new colleague was educated by his parents.

Regret spreading across face of woman who just bit into Creme Egg

A WOMAN'S excitement at eating a Creme Egg is visibly turning to remorse.

Cultural thing weirdly not in London

A CULTURAL event is unaccountably taking place outside of London, it has emerged.

People indifferent to important things passionately defend leggings

PEOPLE who are generally not that engaged with world events have stepped up to defend stretchy jogging bottoms.

Man whose house has gone up in value thinks he's a brilliant businessman

A MAN who has benefited from constantly rising property prices somehow believes it is due to his excellent business skills.

Nobody believes woman is time traveller from an hour ago

A WOMAN who has time-travelled by an hour is struggling to convince colleagues that she is from the past.

Dad wishes daughter happy birthday via LinkedIn

A FATHER who cannot tell the difference between LinkedIn and Facebook has sent his daughter a touching birthday message she will never read.

Clothes enter fifth day in washing machine

A WOMAN’S clothes have entered their fifth day trapped in the washing machine with no escape in sight.