
Police set up fantasy avatar squad
POLICE have set up an avatar unit to tackle crime in online role-playing games.

Michael Bublé unable to do up a tie
CANADIAN crooner Michael Bublé is incapable of doing up a tie.

I cry myself to sleep most nights. How can I be popular again?
Pretend your brother is joining One Direction.

Men in balaclavas offer soothing prospect of war
MEN wearing balaclavas have been making a dreadful situation better.

Idea of female cub scout leader 'is doing Al Qaeda's head in'
JIHADISTS said the idea of a woman being in charge of young males in uniform was driving them crazy.

Britain to be physically removed from Europe
BRITAIN is to be detached from the Earth's crust and moved away from Europe.

