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INFLATION TARGETS ‘WELL F*CKED’ SAYS MERV
News - Business

GOVERNOR of the Bank of England Mervyn King has written to the Chancellor of the Exchequer to confirm the government’s inflation target was now 'well and truly fucked'.
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STRIPTEASE AD SHOULD HAVE BEEN SHOWN AFTER WORK, SAY ANGRY VIEWERS
News - Arts & Entertainment

THOUSANDS of viewers have contacted the advertising standards watchdog demanding a controversial striptease ad be shown the minute they get home from work.
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RANGERS VIOLENCE BEGAN IN LATE 17TH CENTURY, SAYS UEFA
Sport - Sport Headlines

THE violence at the Uefa Cup final began much earlier than was thought, probably in the late 17th century, officials said last night.
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GOVERNMENT TO APPOINT BULLSHIT TSAR
News - Business

THE government is to appoint a powerful new 'czar' to regulate the bullshit professions, including homeopathy, acupuncture and estate agency. 
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Despatches from Poppy Spalding

Thursday: Matamata

THIS week finds me in the Antipodean paradise of New Zealand, whose stunning landscapes were the inspiration for JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

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News Briefly

SURVEY SUGGESTS 58%
OF STUDENTS WILL SIT
AROUND ON THEIR ARSES,
SMOKING WEED AND
SPENDING SOMEONE ELSE'S MONEY
"I don't want to miss Home and Away," says spoilt tit


BULLIES BULLY PUBLIC
INTO SAYING THERE IS
NO PROBLEM WITH BULLYING
"There is absolutely no problem with bullying," says terrified man


RESPONSIBLE DRINKING
CODE EXPOSED FOR THE
HORSESHIT THAT IT IS
"Oh yeah, please buy less of the stuff that we sell," say publicans

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