Home
SUPERMARKETS MUST BE STABBED THROUGH THE HEART UNDER A FULL MOON, SAYS REGULATOR
News - Business

BRITAIN'S leading supermarket chains can only be defeated if a bronze dagger is plunged into their chest by the light of a full moon, the Competition Commission said today.

Read more...
 
SCIENTIST DEVOURED BY EAT-AS-MUCH-AS-YOU-LIKE MOUSE
Animals - Animals headlines

THE scientist who invented a mouse that could eat as much as it liked without getting fat has been found dead in his laboratory with his body covered in tiny teeth marks. 

Read more...
 
CONSUMERS TO LINK OIL COMPANY PROFITS AND PETROL PRICES ANY DAY NOW
News - Business

OIL company executives were last night heading to undisclosed locations amid speculation that consumers were about to make the link between high petrol prices and corporate profits.

Read more...
 
TEENAGE LIVES COMPLETE AS GRAND THEFT AUTO FILLS GAP BETWEEN BOUTS OF FRENZIED MASTURBATION
News - Society

TEENAGE boys across Britain are celebrating after discovering a successful method of marking time between energetic masturbation sessions.

Read more...
 

<< Start < Prev 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 Next > End >>

Results 136 - 144 of 894
THE NEWS IN PICTURES

    Sir Clive Sinclair predicts personal
   flying machines that no-one will buy

    


     Leprechauns strike gold!




Search The Daily Mash

Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Despatches from Poppy Spalding

Monday: Sydney, Australia

My first week on the road finds me in Sydney, which is a bit like London, only with more sun and fewer Australians.

Read more...
 

News Briefly

LEONA HELMSLEY'S
DOGS TO BUY
DAILY MAIL
Billionaire pets believe national newspaper would make more sense if it was run by spaniels


WATER COMPANY FINED
FOR TELLING PEOPLE
THEIR HOUSES WERE
NOT FULL OF WATER
"It's liquid gas, you'll be fine," said call centre


FEAR OF NHS AT
ALL TIME HIGH
In the event of serious illness, more than 80% say they would rather be admitted to Marks and Spencer


RSS headlines

Get the latest Mash headlines with this RSS doo-da:

RSS Mash

adhole1


Mash TV: HUGE CHOPPERS


Mash TV: PHONE ARSE


Buy Mash T-Shirts

Daily Mash Shop

This Week's Poll

What remake are you working on?
 

Subscribe!

Sign up for the Weekly Mash newsletter. It's free.

Name:

Email:

Receive HTML mailings?
Subscribe Remove

adhole2