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DIANA TRIBUTE: MILLIONS UNITE TO SPELL OUT 'WE MISS YOU' IN GIGANTIC LETTERS
News - Environment

BRITAIN is being urged to come together to spell out "we miss you" in letters so huge that Princess Diana will be able to read it in heaven.

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AMAZING! NOW GOOGLE CAN SEE INSIDE YOUR INSIDES
News - Science & Technology

THE contents of every stomach on the planet can now be viewed over the internet from your home computer after the launch of the latest add-on to Google Earth – Google Gut. 

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'IF I CUDDLE AN AIDS BABY WILL YOU LET ME LIVE?' CAMILLA ASKS MOB
News - War

THE Duchess of Cornwall has offered to cuddle an AIDS baby in public if it will prevent her being dragged through the streets by a blood-thirsty mob.

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GLASWEGIAN RECREATES OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCE FOR £9.50
News - Science & Technology

A 42 year-old man from Glasgow claims to have discovered a full-proof way to recreate an out-of-body experience for less than a tenner.

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Opinion

GUEST BLOG: NOEL GALLAGHER

THE Olympics - what the fuck was that all about? Every morning, right, that Scottish bird off the telly would sit on a sofa telling us that we'd won a bronze medal in the women’s catapult and that everyone could now go to work with a big smile on their face - in retrospect I think she somehow mistook me for somebody who gives a fuck.

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News Briefly

15 YEAR-OLDS FORCED TO
WATCH AMAZING GRACE
"Didn't learn much about slavery but Michael Gambon was on top form," says teenage wastrel


MARTIN CLUNES PAID
THOUSANDS TO REMIND
PEOPLE HOW GOOD
LEONARD ROSSITER WAS
"I didn't get where I am today by not wasting licence payers' money on pointless remakes," says BBC arse


SELF-ABSORBED WOMEN
CELEBRATE DIDO COMEBACK
"It's the soundtrack to my topsy-turvy life," says unbearable cow


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