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P*SSED-OFF BRITAIN SAYS F*CK YOU BROWN

Politics - Politics Headlines
BRITAIN is in an absolutely foul mood and is taking it out on the Prime Minister, according to new research.
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FAT PEOPLE MORE DANGEROUS THAN ATOMIC BOMB

News - Health
FAT people are now more destructive than the atomic bomb and will soon crush the earth to death – unless they eat if first, health secretary Alan Johnson said last night.
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MUSLIMS AND CHRISTIANS TO UNITE IN HATRED OF GAYS

News - War
A GROUP of senior Islamic clerics has written to Pope Benedict XVI calling for the world's two biggest faiths to find common cause over their obsessive hatred of gay people.
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CHILDREN DON'T LIKE SCHOOL, SAYS REPORT

News - News Headlines
CHILDREN don’t like going to school and would prefer not to have to do any work at all, according to a major new study of education in Britain.
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THE NEWS IN PICTURES

    Habitat for Humanity tennants
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    built by Sharon Stone

99p pint raises concerns about
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News Briefly

DETOX DIETS EXPOSED
AS NONSENSE FOR
10TH YEAR IN A ROW
"But surely drinking eight gallons of San Pelegrino will flush all the goose fat out of my tubes," says Cosmo reader

BROWN VOWS TO
CREATE 100,000 NEW
LABOUR VOTERS
"We give them a job and then tell them the Tories will take away the job. It's what I do," says PM

CARS TO BE FITTED
WITH FUCKNUT LIMITERS
Hi-tech device will guide the car to the side of the road and park it there until you stop being a fucknut.