FAT people are now more destructive than the atomic bomb and will soon crush the earth to death – unless they eat if first, health secretary Alan Johnson said last night.
A GROUP of senior Islamic clerics has written to Pope Benedict XVI calling for the world's two biggest faiths to find common cause over their obsessive hatred of gay people.
Habitat for Humanity tennants now regret living in house built by Sharon Stone
99p pint raises concerns about why it used to cost £3.50
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DETOX DIETS EXPOSED AS NONSENSE FOR 10TH YEAR IN A ROW "But surely drinking eight gallons of San Pelegrino will flush all the goose fat out of my tubes," says Cosmo reader
BROWN VOWS TO CREATE 100,000 NEW LABOUR VOTERS "We give them a job and then tell them the Tories will take away the job. It's what I do," says PM
CARS TO BE FITTED WITH FUCKNUT LIMITERS Hi-tech device will guide the car to the side of the road and park it there until you stop being a fucknut.