SCIENTISTS who discovered a giant nothingness in the heart of the universe last night said they had lost it again after it “just vanished into thin air”.
THE contents of every stomach on the planet can now be viewed over the internet from your home computer after the launch of the latest add-on to Google Earth – Google Gut.
Habitat for Humanity tennants now regret living in house built by Sharon Stone
99p pint raises concerns about why it used to cost £3.50
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DETOX DIETS EXPOSED AS NONSENSE FOR 10TH YEAR IN A ROW "But surely drinking eight gallons of San Pelegrino will flush all the goose fat out of my tubes," says Cosmo reader
BROWN VOWS TO CREATE 100,000 NEW LABOUR VOTERS "We give them a job and then tell them the Tories will take away the job. It's what I do," says PM
CARS TO BE FITTED WITH FUCKNUT LIMITERS Hi-tech device will guide the car to the side of the road and park it there until you stop being a fucknut.