A MAN who has benefited from constantly rising property prices somehow believes it is due to his excellent business skills.
A WOMAN who has time-travelled by an hour is struggling to convince colleagues that she is from the past.
THE British class system has been broken down to two types of people, those who say ketchup and those who say red sauce, it has emerged.
A GROWN man has announced that he will be having nothing more than a plate of chips for his dinner tonight.
A LOVING son spent an entire morning googling coupon codes to get money off a bunch of flowers for his mum, it has emerged.
THE DAILY Mail is scurrying around like a spider trying to get up society's trouser leg, it has emerged.
LONDON is today in the grip of normality, with millions having their breakfast then going to work.
A FATHER attempting to get his daughters into Catholic school told the admissions board that the Pope is 'fucking ace'.
A MAN has been forced to 'like' an unfunny comment left on his Facebook page out of years of friendship.