Moon blames its ‘dark side’ after going on bender

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    THE moon has blamed its well-documented ‘dark side’ after getting drunk for three days with its mates.

    It said: “As recent NASA pictures clearly illustrate, I have a dark side. This means I sometimes do things that might be seen as stupid or irresponsible, often involving booze, because I can’t help it.”

    The moon recently disappeared for 72 hours with its friends Venus and Jupiter, leaving its girlfriend Mars concerned and unclear of its whereabouts.

    It added: “I’m like a character in True Detective, or Ben Affleck – a brooding mass of contradictions that struggles to reconcile the good and evil parts of its character.

    “So there’s no need to have a go at me.”

    However Mars said: “I could smell other female space rocks on him, I’m not stupid.

    “He says he just gets a little crazy when he’s in eclipse, but he needs to sort his shit out.”