Pringles ‘eat your soul’

print

PRINGLES potato chips destroy your soul, it has been confirmed.

As it was confirmed that Pringles tubes are incredibly difficult to recycle and will outlast human civilisation, experts added that snack was also vile, shameful and unnatural.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Even the way they are perfectly stacked is wrong and vaguely militaristic. They’re like snack soldiers, ready to march into your mouth, even against your will.

“The Pringles ingredient that melts your soul is one of those chemicals listed on the tube that sounds like an obscure species of dinosaur. When they gave it to mice their eyes turned jet black and they started gibbering in Latin.”

“That said, talking about Pringles has made me really want to go and buy some Pringles, and eat them all in one go.

“And then feel like a lesser man.”