Gilet wearer admits his arms have been cold for years

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A LONG-TERM gilet wearer has admitted that his arms are often very cold.


Roy Hobbs has been parading around in a green quilted gilet in all seasons, insisting that he doesn’t ‘need’ sleeves in the face of rain, wind or snow.

Hobbs said: “Football matches were cold but I didn’t want to look like some sleeve-owning wimp so I stuck it out.

“The payoff to freezing your nuts off is that you look hard as fuck, but I’ve realised it’s just not worth it. It’s a relief to have accepted that I feel the cold like every other human.

“Gilets may look awesome but they’re basically half-built coats and that makes no sense.”

Designed to warm the thorax while chilling the wearer’s arms to icy buggery, the gilet remains a firm favourite with men who want to give the impression their arms are too ripped to be contained by an outer layer of sleeve.

Hobbs’ partner Mary Fisher said: “He’s actually not Jason Statham and the anorak I’ve ordered for him from Peter Storm will prove that”.