A BREXITER believes the Bayeux Tapestry is bollocks because there is no way the Normans could have defeated the British.
After France offered to lend the famous artwork to the UK, Leave fanatic Nikki Hollis questioned whether French cowards could really outfight British soldiers who are the best in the world.
Office worker Hollis said: “The Normans wouldn’t have stood a chance against dead hard British soldiers like the historical Chris Ryan.
“The moment the French jumped out of their boats our brilliant archers would have started mowing them down. Probably Merlin the wizard was there too, shooting fireballs at them.
“I also find it hard to believe Harold was shot in the eye. An experienced knight would have pulled his visor down before skewering loads of Frenchmen on his massive lance like a kebab.”
She added: “Plus there’d have been early Spitfires strafing the beaches with their arrow machine guns. It’s disgusting that liberals unquestioningly accept a distorted version of history just because they hate Britain.
“I reckon the French came over, took one look at our lads and legged it. Once they were safely back in their chateaus they just made up the whole Battle of Hastings to not look like wankers.”