Brexiter delighted his corner shop taken over by miserable British bastard


    A BREXITER is glad that the pleasant Polish couple who used to run his local convenience store have been replaced by a surly British bastard.

    As EU nationals flock to leave the UK, Martin Bishop thoroughly approves of the new proprietorship of Roy Hobbs, who hates all customers and his chosen career equally.

    Office worker Bishop said: “I’m not racist but it’s nice to hear an English voice when you’re buying overpriced bog roll in a local institution like Bargain Mini-Mart.

    “The prices have gone up, there’s frequent stock shortages, the opening hours have been cut dramatically and he looks right through you as if you’re less than nothing, but he’s definitely British.

    “Karol and Krista who used to run the shop were very friendly. Too friendly. I feel Roy improves the sense of community when he’s ignoring customers and looking at hardcore porn on his phone.

    “Roy’s really helping with our social cohesion, apart from when he calls an elderly woman a ‘coffin-dodging old sow’ because she’s taking too long to find the right change.”

    Hobbs said: “Are you going to buy that fucking Mars bar or just look at it?”