MICHAEL Owen feels his career in being seated can continue at the highest level after leaving Manchester United.
The collapsible striker was released by the club after caretakers were doing a closed season clearout at Old Trafford and noticed him in the corner of a storage cupboard gingerly massaging the back of his thigh.
Owen said: “I still take a keen interest in the game and from what I’ve seen from the television in my living room, there’s Premier League benches out there I think I could definitely sit on whilst looking at my iPhone and wearing a big Puffa jacket.
“I’m fairly young at 32 – my right leg is still only a toddler – but I’m not ready to drop a division as most of their benches aren’t heated and the cold would absolutely cripple me.”
Owen will launch MickeyTV, a new channel in the high 800s of the Sky box, via which he will encourage managers to call in and make a bid until he is signed.
The channel will feature soft focus footage of him getting off a coach, sitting on a bench, running up and down a touchline a few times, sitting back down on a bench and getting on a coach, to show managers what they could be getting.
Sofa manufacturers DFS are believed to have approached Owen about a sponsorship deal, and Anusol have also shown an interest.
But Owen said: “Although I’ve been concentrating on my sitting, my heart is still in playing football, and I can’t wait to get back out there and battle against great defenders like Tony Adams and Marcel Desailly.
“What? Since when?”