THE coalition parties have returned £520,000 to which they had helped themselves, insisting they had honestly not realised how bad it would look.
Former nurse Joan Edwards, who died aged 90, left the money to the ‘government of the day’ which the coalition parties assumed meant ‘spend it on bullshit campaigns filled with nauseating lies’.
Tory chairman Grant Shapps said: “We took this money in good public relations faith. If at any point we had thought it looked deeply cynical and dishonest we would have found another way of doing it.
“I think we have all learned an important lesson.”
Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg said: “Although I didn’t know Joan Edwards after looking at a photograph of her and reading her will, I feel as if I did.
“And what came through, very strongly, was a decent, hard working and intelligent woman who served her community with dedication and really wanted me to be able justify myself.”
He added: “It’s particularly sad because we’ve also spent the £2.4m we got from that fraudster a few years ago.”
Meanwhile Mr Shapps insisted that other frail old ladies should not be put off from leaving all their money to the Conservative Party.
He said: “To avoid any confusion, we’ll draw up the will for you. We can also put your cat to sleep for a tenner.”