DELICATE little flowers who claim they are woken by the slightest thing have been instructed to get over themselves.
HARDWARE and building supplies retailer Screwfix has introduced a ‘sexy and stylish’ dress code.
DONALD Trump’s closest adviser is a small boy who is the biggest bullshitter in his school, it has emerged.
A SPIDER has broken an unspoken agreement to remain in the same highly visible spot in the bathroom.
A FATHER did not say a word during a 10-hour family visit until telling his daughter to use the M69.
THE numbers of incredibly irritating people who are prepared to be 'chuggers' is dangerously low, charities have warned.
TEENAGE bastards playing music on a bus are fully aware that it is annoying everyone else, it has emerged.
ORDINARY British tap water is now mostly ham, experts have confirmed.
A DESPERATE, blithering fuck-up has demanded the media accurately report how unbelievably fantastic it is.