Animals Headlines

Cat couldn't give a toss about human's 'forever home' bullshit

A RESCUE cat has confirmed it is not interested in your sentimental bullshit about having a 'loving home' and just wants food.

We do not like trampolining, say hedgehogs

HEDGEHOGS have confirmed they do not like trampolining and children should not make them do it.

Dogs 'surprisingly self-obsessed'

DOGS have pathetically self-indulgent emotions just like humans, it has emerged.

Dog enters negotiations to give stick back 


A DOG has confirmed he is ready to begin negotiations for letting go of a stick.

Livingstone has pet newt called ‘Adolf’

KEN Livingstone named one of his pet newts ‘Adolf’, it has emerged.

Woodpecker and weasel already talking about having kids

A WOODPECKER and a weasel have moved in together and are ‘excited about starting a family’.

Neighbourhood dogs enjoy ‘top-notch’ two-hour barking session

A GROUP of neighbourhood dogs said last night’s two-hour barking session was one of the best this year.

Rufus the hawk enters Wimbledon as wild card

RUFUS the hawk has entered the Wimbledon men's semi-finals despite never having played competitive tennis.