Animals Headlines

Seagull admits man isn't paranoid, it really is stalking him

A MAN whose friends claim he is paranoid about being stalked by a seagull is not remotely paranoid, the seagull has admitted.

Larry the Cat named best inhabitant of Number 10 in 21st Century

LARRY the Cat is the only inhabitant of Downing Street to have done a good job this century, it has been confirmed.

Middle-aged hamster buys expensive new wheel

A MIDDLE-aged hamster has bought a top of the range wheel loaded with optional extras.

All cats are Thatcherites, confirm experts

EVERY cat is a right-wing Conservative, scientists have discovered.

May to send Article 50 letter strapped to a bulldog in a Spitfire

THERESA May will trigger Article 50 by strapping a letter to a no-nonsense bulldog that will fly to Brussels in a Spitfire.

Rescue cat couldn't give a toss about human's 'forever home' bullshit

A RESCUE cat has confirmed it is not interested in your sentimental bullshit about having a 'loving home' and just wants food.

We do not like trampolining, say hedgehogs

HEDGEHOGS have confirmed they do not like trampolining and children should not make them do it.

Dogs 'surprisingly self-obsessed'

DOGS have pathetically self-indulgent emotions just like humans, it has emerged.