COWS BLAME SHEEP FOR FOOT AND MOUTH LAB LEAK

THE cows have blamed the sheep for the recent foot and mouth outbreak and accused their animal foes of turning the conflict in the countryside into a dirty war.

Pure unalduterated evil

The cows, who declared war on the sheep in April this year, said a small flock of sheep was spotted acting strangely in the area where the outbreak occurred last week.

One cow claimed to have seen sheep talking to suspicious figures in white coats who worked at the nearby animal research laboratory which has been identified as the source of the disease.

Another claimed to have seen sheep wearing gas masks carrying test tubes and later to have heard the sound of tinkling glass, giggling, and shouts of “that’ll show ‘em”.

Cow prime minister Edelweiss said the latest development in the war of the cows and the sheep was “truly shocking”.

He said: “We always suspected the sheep would fight dirty. As soon as we declared war they took to the hills and refused to face us in a proper battle. They are evil personified.”

However, the sheep's dirty tactics may yet backfire: their sneak attack using chemical weaponry has enraged the pigs who are now threatening to join the war as allies of the cows.

Major General Horace Wilpole, an expert in porcine warfare, said the pigs could bring the conflict to a swift end as they were well-equipped and ferocious fighters. "They are absolute animals," he said.

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