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OCTOPUS WARDROBES FULL OF USELESS SHOES

OCTOPUSES' wardrobes are full of hundreds of pairs of useless shoes, new research reveals.

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THAT SHREW IS SO FUCKING HAMMERED, SAY ZOOLOGISTS

YOU should have totally seen this shrew, it was out of its face, a team of zoologists claimed last night.

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FAMOUS PEOPLE TO SPEND ALL DAY HUMPING GOATS

BRITAIN'S famous people are to spend much of their time engaged in base sexual practices after being given the go-ahead by a High Court judge.

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