'Open the door, open the door, open the door'

A MONKEY has failed in its bid to escape from a laboratory using nothing but the power of thought.

Ian, a four year-old capuchin, attempted the telekinetic feat after using his thoughts to operate a robotic arm and feed himself a banana.

He said: "In case you were wondering - yes, having all those pointy electrodes rammed into your brain does hurt like a bastard.

"If it didn't, then why the fuck am I the one wearing the electric helmet?"