the dailymash

BBC4 named ponciest channel at National TV Awards

BBC4 was last night named Best Channel for Stuck-Up Ponces at the National Television Awards.

Furious entertainment industry promises year from hell

THE entertainment industry has responded to last week's internet blackout by vowing to make 2012 a new low in the history of entertainment.

BT couple's son to kill housemate with pitchfork

THE storyline of the latest BT adverts will follow the previous couple's son as he spirals into a pit of murderous drug-fuelled sexual obsession.

Eurovision songs mostly pleas for economic aid

EUROZONE nations are using this year's international song contest to ask for financial help to a thumping hi-NRG disco beat.

The Artist named this year’s 'amaaayzing' film

A BLACK-and-white tribute to the golden age of silent cinema, has been named this year's most 'amaaayzing' film by people you will overhear in coffee shops.

Jay-Z buys extravagant garden shed

RAPPER Jay-Z has purchased a million-dollar garden shed following the birth of his daughter, it has emerged.

Brit Awards condemned by mental health charities

PEOPLE suffering from depression should avoid looking at the Brit Awards, according to mental health experts.

Thatcher film 'not sexually violent enough'

SENIOR Conservatives have attacked the new Margaret Thatcher biopic for its 'disturbing' lack of sexual violence.

Tolkien denied Nobel Prize 'because he wrote about Hobbits'

JRR Tolkien was rejected by the Nobel Prize committee because he wrote about hobbits, dwarves and orcs, it has emerged.