Arts & Entertainment News
Apprentice Inspires New Generation To Become Vile
THE new series of The Apprentice is inspiring a new generation to become grasping, money-obsessed little turds, the BBC has claimed.
Kyle Hit By Monkey Faeces
MONKEY trainer Jeremy Kyle was left shaken last night after one of his creatures struck him on the head with a handful of fresh droppings.
BBC May Be Forced To Shoot Chris Moyles
THE BBC has warned that if Chris Moyles keeps coming to work, they may be forced to shoot him.
ITV Launch 'You've Been A Shit'
ITV is to refresh its Saturday night schedules with the motiveless abuse show You've Been A Shit.
Film Of Video Game To Be Adapted Into Video Game And Then Back Into Film
THE film of the console game Resident Sewage 43: Crapocalypse is to be adapted back into a console game and then back into a film and so on until the ending of the world, it has been confirmed.
Pope Promises Live Witch-Burning
POPE Benedict XVI has promised his UK tour will feature the live on-stage incineration of those who consort with demons.
CNN To Replace Larry King With A Prick
CNN is to replace its veteran talk show host Larry King with some fat faced prick it dragged in off the streets.
That Whole 'Stig' Thing Got Boring About Eight Years Ago, Everyone Tells BBC
THE anonymity of the Stig was vaguely amusing for about 10 minutes in 2002, the BBC was told last night.
Jabba The Hutt Joins X Factor Judging Panel
SIX HUNDRED year-old Tatooine crime lord Jabba The Hutt is to replace Dannii Minogue on the X Factor judging panel, it has been confirmed.
- BBC On Crack
- Artistic Kelly Brook Playboy Shoot Inspires Tasteful Masturbation
- 'Expendables' Sparks Fresh Controversy Over Child Screenwriters
- Twilight Characters To Have Fumbling, Slightly Painful Attempt At Sex
- Inception Director Implanted Idea That People Who Don't Like Inception Are Stupid
