the dailymash

'Gayboy' removed from Peter Pan

A ROW has erupted after the word 'gayboy' was removed from a new edition of the JM Barrie classic Peter Pan.

Look at these fat freaks, says television

THIS year's television schedules will focus on staring blankly at the immensely fat, it has been confirmed.

David Cronenberg steps down from Eastenders

THE BBC last night said it had no regrets after placing veteran film-maker David Cronenberg in charge of Eastenders over the festive period.

Pope to shoehorn Jesus into airport chaos story

POPE Benedict will somehow manage to crowbar Jesus into the airport chaos story when he delivers tomorrow's Thought for the Day on Radio Four.

Nintendo launches Wii Family Argument

CONSOLE giant Nintendo's new game will encourage families to interact in a massive Christmas fight.

33 year-old man has genuinely high expectations of Tron: Legacy

SALES executive Tom Logan is genuinely looking forward to seeing Tron: Legacy, it emerged last night.

Millions protest over ban on Aguilera's glory hole

ITV has been bombarded by angry viewers demanding to know why they were not allowed to see Christine Aguilera's holiest of holies.

Dave Gilmour to write 48-hour long rock opera about cenotaphs

PINK Floyd legend Dave Gilmour is to explore his son's defilement of the cenotaph with a rock opera that will last for about two days.

Charles and Camilla attacked by anti-Variety Performance activists

PRINCE Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall were badly shaken last night after their car was attacked by masked thugs, violently opposed to the Royal Variety Performance.