SIR David Attenborough said 'fuck this' last night after Strictly Come Dancing became the most popular television programme in the world.
ALL Gary Glitter songs are to be electronically tagged and made to sign the sex offenders' register.
BRITAIN recoiled in horror last night as the BT broadband couple took their first tentative steps towards reconciliation.
Taurus: Saturn has made work and property your top priority since May, but now Mercury has decided it’s time you were fired and your home repossessed.
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