SIR Fred Goodwin was understood to have lost his mind last night after deciding to give up half his pension and leave his luxury villa in the South of France.
THE near collapse of the UK banking system had nothing to do with the piece-of-shit regulations that govern it, chancellor Alistair Darling will claim today.
BRITAIN is well on its way to becoming a largely bucket- based economy, it was claimed last night. Press 'play' to get the Daily Mash right in your ears.
THE first contestant who manages to sell an Amstrad Emailer will win The Apprentice, Sir Alan Sugar said last night. Click the 'play' button to hear Mash Radio...