SIR Fred Goodwin was understood to have lost his mind last night after deciding to give up half his pension and leave his luxury villa in the South of France.
THE near collapse of the UK banking system had nothing to do with the piece-of-shit regulations that govern it, chancellor Alistair Darling will claim today.
BRITAIN is well on its way to becoming a largely bucket- based economy, it was claimed last night. Press 'play' to get the Daily Mash right in your ears.
THE first contestant who manages to sell an Amstrad Emailer will win The Apprentice, Sir Alan Sugar said last night. Click the 'play' button to hear Mash Radio...
BANKERS have rejected Alistair Darling's plea not to return to the 'madness' that caused the recession, insisting they bloody love it.
MEET the new boss - same as the old boss, the Royal Bank of Scotland said today.
NINETIES indie heroes Blur have reformed as Blur Accountancy Ltd, offering fans a wide range of financial services.
BRITAIN is well on its way to becoming a largely bucket- based economy, it was claimed last night. Press 'play' to get the Daily Mash right in your ears. 
CENTER Parcs, the market leading holiday resort company, has added waterboarding to its list of family-focused leisure activities.
THE first contestant who manages to sell an Amstrad Emailer will win The Apprentice, Sir Alan Sugar said last night. Click the 'play' button to hear Mash Radio... 
