the dailymash

Rail bonuses to be replaced with knackered bus

THE £20 million bonus pool for Network Rail bosses is to be repeatedly postponed then replaced by a former school bus.

Facebook IPO fails because nobody can find 'Buy' button

THE first public listing of Facebook has failed after users could not find the bit of the website that allows them to buy shares.

Goodwin loses knighthood for same reasons he got knighthood

THE reasons for Fred Goodwin getting and losing his knighthood could have been separated at birth, it has been confirmed.

Thomas Cook ad to feature 'Debaser'

THOMAS Cook has become the latest travel company to base a television advert on a song by the Pixies.

Hester turns down shares in unsuccessful bank

STEPHEN Hester last night turned down a share bonus package after discovering the shares were in the Royal Bank of Scotland.

Key financial decisions now based on free toy

BRITONS will spend any amount of money in order to get a 'plush toy', it has emerged.

RBS chief to get bonus or legal fees and bonus

THE taxpayer will have to pay for Stephen Hester's bonus or pay for his bonus and his lawyers, it has been confirmed.

I can destroy you, Moira Stewart tells self-assessment taxpayers

MOIRA Stewart, the all-seeing God of Tax, has warned of great suffering for those self-employed workers whose forms displease her.

McDonald's introduces 'Bring Your Bassist to Work Day'

STAFF at McDonald's have enjoyed their first Bring Your Favourite Britpop Bassist to Work Day.