Business News
Medium-Sized Potato Tops Christmas Toy Charts
A MEDIUM-sized King Edward potato is 2009's most popular Christmas toy among recession-hit parents.
Credit Card Firms Told To Stop Leaving Horses' Heads Everywhere
CREDIT card firms are facing a crackdown on practices such as leaving a horse's head at the bottom of your bed or killing you and then stuffing you in an oil drum.
Banks Call For Mervyn King To Be Broken Up
BRITAIN'S biggest banks last night called for Mervyn King to be broken up into lots of little bits.
JJB Drops 'Sports' From Title After Admitting It Was Fooling Nobody
JJB Sports, the troubled high street vendor of television watching apparel, has finally dropped the 'Sports' from its name.
School Leavers Not Even Clever Enough To Work At Tesco, Says Tesco Boss
BRITAIN'S education system must be in a right old state if school leavers are not even qualified to work at Tesco, the boss of Tesco warned last night.
Come And See Our Hot Lesbians, Says Swindon
SWINDON is a hotbed of unbridled lesbian sex, the town's borough council claimed last night.
Pat And Jess Trade Insults Over Strike Action
BRITAIN'S leading postman and his long-standing colleague last night exchanged vicious insults in an acrimonious split over proposed strike action.
We Will Never Judge You, Say Greggs
GREGGS the baker last night assured its customers it would never ever judge them.
Microsoft Offers Students Cut-Price Infuriating Crap
STUDENTS can have Windows 7 irritate the shit out of them for a reduced fee of £30, Microsoft has announced.
