Business News

Firms urged to hire stupid little shits

01-07-11
BRITISH businesses have been urged to hire surly, undereducated malcontents because at least they are not foreign.

Elderly Australian man satisfied with purchase

30-06-11
AN Australian pensioner today declared the British government to be excellent value for money.

Mobile phone companies step up mission to make world a better place

29-06-11

MOBILE phone operators have confirmed they will need more money to achieve their sole aim of bringing the whole world together.

Shop selling expensive, uncomfortable things to close

24-06-11

A SHOP which sells really uncomfortable sofas for £3000 is to close down.

Britain urges RBS to take huge, potentially lucrative risks

23-06-11
THE Royal Bank of Scotland has been urged to make a series of massive, insanely risky investments in a bid to boost its share price.

Facebook apologises for ugly-recognition software

08-06-11

MARK Zuckerberg has admitted that a Facebook app automatically highlighting how hideous people are was a mistake.

Apple fans demand perfectly designed box for iCloud

07-06-11

APPLE fans last night welcomed the new iCloud service but said they would like a lovely box to put it in.

Bosses of cold calling companies still refusing to kill themselves

03-06-11

THE call centre bosses whose minions regularly upset your nan are still ignoring demands to destroy themselves, according to new research.

Airlines crack down on fraudulent vegetarians

27-05-11

AIR passengers will have their in-flight meal choices stored on a database in a bid to catch fake vegetarians.

The new Mash Book - Welcome to the Mental Hospital

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