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BRITAIN GETS UP AT 4AM TO BUY RECORD AMOUNT OF CRAP

MILLIONS of people got up in the middle of the night to buy vast amounts of shit they did not need yesterday, after stores told them it was now a bit cheaper.
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MEN BUYING SAUCY UNDIES FOR OWN USE, SAYS REPORT

NINE out of ten men buying women’s underwear this festive season are planning to wear it themselves on Christmas Day, new research shows. 
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SAUDI KING TO PARDON HIT AND RUN VICTIMS

KING Abdullah of Saudi Arabia was praised by the international community last night after pledging to release more than 20% of his country's female hit and run victims.
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YOUR STARS

sagittarius

      Taurus: Saturn has made
    work and property your top
    priority since May, but now
    Mercury has decided it’s time
   you were fired and your
    home repossessed.


FROM THE ARCHIVES...

 
smoke
 
     BRITAIN SIGNS UP FOR
   VORDERMAN'S 28-DAY
     PISS-DRINK DETOX

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