THE white matter visible in Lily Allen's left nostril in a recent paparazzi photograph is a tiny snowman made by a family of gnomes who live up her nose, it was claimed last night.
DETECTIVES who questioned Lindsay Lohan over the theft of a £250,000 diamond necklace are to call in Scarlett Johansson and Megan Fox while they're at it.
CRISTIANO Ronaldo celebrated his record-breaking £80m move to Real Madrid last night by joining the early morning queue outside Paris Hilton's private parts.