ITV was swamped with phone calls last night as viewers across Britain demanded fresh celebrities to worry about.
GUY Ritchie has refused a divorce settlement with Madonna and is instead planning to scam her out of '500 large' with the help of his Cockney mates.
AMY Winehouse last night blamed her addiction to crack cocaine on a hallucination of the devil she saw while high on LSD.
BRIT-flick director Guy Ritchie will today begin a new chapter in his life based solely on his own talent.
BRAVE Kate Nash last night admitted she faced the 'fight of her life' after a tiny pimple threatened to devastate a small section of the lower part of her face.
BBC business editor Robert Peston last night attained transcendence before converting himself into pure energy.
MILLIONAIRE TV presenter Natasha Kaplinsky last night released photos of the perfect baby boy she has had with her millionaire husband.
LINDSAY Lohan needs to find herself a much hotter girlfriend - and quickly, men said last night.
THEY are calling it the most glamorous and successful London Gay Bullshit Week in years.
