Celebrity News
Queen To Have Lunch With Insane Criminal
THE Queen will today have soup and sandwiches at her Edinburgh home with an insane German criminal she met off a plane.
Celebrities To Enter Big Brother Winner
VICTORIOUS housemate Josie Gibson is to become 'home' for a tiny submarine carrying Celebrity Big Brother contestants, it has emerged.
Cat Bin Lady Signed By Cowell
FREAK wrangler Simon Cowell has signed a 50-year-old woman after footage of her slamdunking a cat became an internet sensation.
Cheryl Soldiers On Despite Being Dead
BRAVE X Factor judge Cheryl Cole has overcome her recent death with the aid of hooks and pulleys.
Mcelderry Releases Debut Admission Of Homosexuality
X FACTOR winner Joe McElderry's eagerly-anticipated first admission of gayness is to be released this week.
Jail Is Like 'Mean Girls' But With Massive, Angry Lesbians, Judge Tells Lohan
LINDSAY Lohan has been assured that jail will be reminiscent of her 2004 hit film Mean Girls but with a lot more large, aggressive bull-dykes who want to use her for sport.
Atheists Declare Victory After Jordan Marriage Blessing
ATHEISTS claimed victory last night after the church which hosted Jordan's marriage blessing failed to burst into flames.
Katona Sex Tape 'Kills All Who See It'
EVERYONE who has watched the Kerry Katona sex tape has died mysteriously within a week, it was claimed yesterday.
Alexa Chung To Be New Face Of Chitlins
MODEL and TV presenter Alexa Chung is to become the face of boiled pigs' intestines, it was announced last night.
- Queen To Put Balls In Her Mouth For First Time Since 1957
- Britain Trying Not To Imagine What Katie Price Perfume Smells Like
- Emergency Christine Bleakley Information Service Launched
- Some People Still Think Cheryl Cole Is Real, Says TV Watchdog
- Victoria Beckham Unveils New Brain
