THE number of people leaving Britain because of Jamie Oliver's face has risen for the second year in a row.
ACTOR Chris Langham is expected to quickly revive his showbusiness career after being classed as a "Townshend Category" child porn user.
SENIOR Tory MPs are calling for David Cameron to be replaced with another vote-losing weirdo from the party's extreme right wing.
Taurus: Saturn has made work and property your top priority since May, but now Mercury has decided it’s time you were fired and your home repossessed.
Get the latest Mash headlines: