Environment News
Food Shortages Could Force Middle Class To Eat Chicken Mega-Tasteybites
AFFLUENT professionals could be forced to use town centre fried chicken outlets as over-population makes Waitrose-style food increasingly scarce.
BP Photoshopped Image Of Pelican Giving The Thumbs-Up
OIL giant BP has been accused of manipulating an image of a Gulf of Mexico pelican to show the bird giving the 'thumbs-up'.
Fears Grow As Fox Spotted On Top Of Horse
FEARS of a brutal fox insurgency were growing last night after one of them was spotted trying to ride a horse.
Oil Well Capped Before Everyone Realises It's Their Fault
THE ruptured oil pipe in the Gulf of Mexico has been capped just minutes before everyone realised it had all been their fault.
Animals Obstructing Progress
SUPERFLUOUS wildlife is still hampering vital progress in the logging and fast food industries, it was claimed last night.
Met Office Finally Blamed
AFTER five days of disciplined self-control Britain finally gave in last night and blamed the Met Office for volcanoes.
Climatologists Claim Planet Is Haunted
GLOBAL warming is probably being caused by ghosts, climate scientists claimed last night.
Zoology Admits Defeat Over Cocks, Tits And Beavers
BEAVERS are to be renamed 'riverdogs' after zoologists finally conceded defeat to the overwhelming forces of sexual innuendo.
Green Campaign Urges Drivers To Get Wedged Under Lorry
THE government's latest green motoring campaign is urging drivers to switch off their engines and get wedged under a massive lorry.
