Health News
Frigid Lesbianism Caused By Brain Defect
WOMEN who don't like having sex with men have something wrong with their brains, a new study has finally proved beyond doubt.
Britain To Become Nation Of Sponge Eaters
BRITAIN is set to become a nation of sponge eaters after reading the first two paragraphs of a story about cancer.
Chop-Chop, Scientists Tell Women
BEATING cancer involves less chatty and more cooky, according to new research.
Wetherspoons To Open In A&E
PUB chain Wetherspoons is to open outlets in accident and emergency departments for injured brawlers who want another drink.
80% Of NHS Time Spent Cleaving Lard From Fat Ladies
THE National Health Service is now mainly employed as a device for extracting fat from chocoholics, experts have claimed.
Thousands Of Doctors Prescribing Jesus
CHRISTIAN doctors are regularly sending patients home with a course of Testament, according to new research.
Schafernaker 'Lucky He Didn't Put His Eye Out' Say Opticians
EXPERTS have issued new guidelines for live TV gaffe recovery after Tomasz Schafernaker almost took his eye out with an emergency
middle finger retraction.
Legalise Drugs, Says Some Crazy President Of The Royal College Of Physicians
THE campaign to legalise drugs was today backed by someone whose only qualification is to know exactly what he is talking about.
New Superbug Is Foreign As Well
THE deadly new superbug that is going kill you by Friday is not even British, it emerged last night.
