Health News
Britain To Make Its Own Booze From Leftover KFC And Pizza Crusts
BRITAIN has vowed to beat any alcohol price hike by distilling its own
booze from junk food leftovers.
Hunt For Swine Flu Vaccine Receipt Intensifies
GOVERNMENT health officials say the receipt for 30 million useless swine flu vaccines is definitely around somewhere.
Male Sex Addicts Cured By 'Mamma Mia!'
MALE sex addicts are being cured of their impulsive desire for women by watching the smash hit musical Mamma Mia!
Masterchef Upgraded To Class B Drug
THE tedious but powerfully addictive BBC cooking series Masterchef is to be upgraded to a class B controlled substance, it emerged last night.
Chunky Children Ever So Jolly
OVERWEIGHT children are three times more likely to be jolly than their slender counterparts, according to new research.
Parliament Emitting Angry Purple Aura, Say Homeopaths
MEMBERS of Parliament who criticised homeopathy have badly knotted chakras and are emitting an unhealthy purple aura, it was claimed last night.
BBC To Offer More Crone-Based Programming
HAGS and crones will take centre stage in the BBC's spring schedule as the corporation announces a big increase in witch-themed programming.
Typical Lunch Box More Nutritious Than Its Contents
THE average school lunch box now contains at least three items that, technically, are not food, according to a new survey.
