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ALL PARENTS KILLING THEIR CHILDREN SAY GOVERNMENT

EVERY parent in Britain is to be charged with the attempted murder of their own offspring under the latest Government proposals to combat child obesity.

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BRAIN SURGERY EXAMS 'TOO HARD' SAYS GOVERNMENT

Brain surgery exams are to be made much easier because not enough people are applying to become brain surgeons, the Government has announced.

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FAT KIDS TO BE CHASED TO SCHOOL BY DOGS

CARS are to be banned from the school run and children chased to their classes by angry dogs under new Government plans to eliminate childhood obesity by 2010. 

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