International News
Coma Guy To Blackmail The Shit Out Of Hospital Staff
THE man who doctors believed was in a coma for 23 years is to start blackmailing the shit out of all the people who thought he couldn't hear them.
Herman Van Rompuy Is Anagram Of Roman Vampyre Hun
THE new president of the European Union is a Catholic German vampire who craves the blood of your children, experts warned last night.
Sarah Palin Doesn't Know What Radar Is
SARAH Palin could still stand for the US presidency in 2012 after it emerged she has no idea what radar is.
Sex With Obama 'Better Than Sex', Claims First Lady
SEXUAL intercourse with President Barack Obama is better than sex, his wife has revealed.
Ordinary Europeans Denied Chance To Hate Tony Blair
MILLIONS of ordinary Europeans look set to lose their chance of getting steadily sick of Tony Blair until they despise him with every fibre of their being.
Iceland Begins Desperate Search For New Cheesey Gristle Supplier
ICELAND has begun the search for a new supplier of thin slabs of gristle covered with a slice of processed yellow dairy product.
Google Urged To Help Victims Of U2 Concert
GOOGLE has been urged to provide emergency aid for all those caught up in Sunday night's live U2 webcast from California.
Man Describes How He Survived Barrier Reef Minogue Attack
A BRITISH tourist last night described the moment he was attacked by Dannii Minogue while diving off the coast of Northern Australia.
Balloon Hoax Is A Hoax Balloon Hoax, Claims FBI
THE Colorado balloon hoax is really a hoax balloon hoax, the FBI said last night.
