International News
UK rescue attempt convinces Brits to stay in Libya
24-02-11
UK attempts to rescue British citizens trapped in Libya have convinced most of them to dig a big hole in the sand and live in it.
Libya facing civil war over how to kill Gaddafi
23-02-11
LIBYA was split down the middle last night over how Colonel Gaddafi should eventually be killed.
William Hague thinks you're in Venezuela
22-02-11
YOU are probably in Venezuela, foreign secretary William Hague has confirmed.
Call for Middle East protests to be about Cheryl Cole
17-02-11
THE wave of protest across the Middle East needs a unifying theme that any moron can understand, it was claimed last night.
Thank you for the lovely coup, army tells Egypt
14-02-11
THE Egyptian army last night thanked demonstrators in Cairo for their military coup, adding that it was a very nice one.
Go now, dog-faced Stargate aliens tell Mubarak
11-02-11
HOSNI Mubarak has been urged to resign by the dog-faced space aliens who founded Egypt more than 8,000 years ago.
New York smoking ban to halt fall in violent crime
04-02-11
NEW York is bidding to reverse its plummeting violent crime figures by not letting anybody smoke.
Egyptian revolt delays mojito
31-01-11
THOUSANDS of panicked UK tourists in Egypt contacted the Foreign Office
last night after it emerged their mojito had still not arrived.
Morgan Freeman to become full-time Nelson Mandela
28-01-11
NELSON Mandela is to resign from being himself to make way for Morgan Freeman.
