International News
Iran To Rebrand Itself As Lovers' Paradise
IRAN is hoping to attract thousands of Western tourists after rebranding itself as the ultimate destination for lovers.
Psychic Octopus Receiving Knickers In The Post
PAUL, the psychic octopus, has been inundated with knickers from thousands of randy women.
Anna Chapman Also Has Fantastic Tits, Claims FBI
ANNA CHAPMAN, the suspected Russian spy, also has a cracking set of charlies, the FBI confirmed last night.
Belgium Faked Humanitarian Crisis To Meet Angelina Jolie
THE people of Belgium faked the destruction of their country in a bid to meet Angelina Jolie, it has emerged.
BP Funds New Generation Of Country And Western Music
BP is to set up an oil spill compensation fund which experts say will
ultimately be used to buy country and western music and books about
creationism.
Obama Starting To Sound Like A Bit Of An Arse
PRESIDENT Obama's handling of the Gulf oil spill is starting to make him
come across as a bit of an arsehole, it emerged today.
Israel Just Making It Easier For Guardian Readers To Look Good
ISRAEL'S attack on a Palestinian aid ship will make it easier for Guardian readers to sound as if they know what they are talking about, it was claimed last night.
What About Handjobs? Women Ask Pope
DOZENS of women have written to Pope Benedict asking if Roman Catholic priests can be allowed the occasional hand job.
Man Loses Job For Saying Russians Are Corrupt
A MAN lost his job last night for claiming that Russians love bribing people.
