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LESBIANS TO ESTABLISH REPUBLIC OF LESBIA
02-05-08

THE world's 800 million lesbians are to club together and set up their own country.

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AUSTRIA LAUNCHES 'BIRTHPLACE OF HITLER' CAMPAIGN
30-04-08

AUSTRIA'S chancellor has vowed to restore the country's international image with a £40 million 'Birthplace of Hitler' marketing campaign. 

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SYRIA OUTSOURCES EVIL PLOTTING TO NORTH KOREA
24-04-08

SYRIA is to outsource its evil plotting to North Korea in a £3 billion deal to create the world's biggest terror brand.

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SYSTEM NO LONGER WORKS, CONFIRMS UN
24-04-08

THE socio-economic system which has governed much of the globe for over a century finally stopped working at around 9pm last night, the United Nations has confirmed.

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XENOPHOBES WELCOME HUGE, STINKING METAPHOR
19-04-08

BRITAIN'S xenophobes were last night celebrating the arrival of an enormous, foul-smelling metaphor wafting over the channel from continental Europe.

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PUTIN TO PROPOSE AT SUSHI RESTAURANT
18-04-08

RUSSIAN President Vladimir Putin is to propose to his girlfriend at his favourite Moscow sushi restaurant, the Kremlin has announced. 

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TELEVANGELIST CHALLENGES POPE TO JEW-HATING CONTEST
16-04-08

US televangelist Pat Robertson has branded the Pope a dangerous liberal and challenged him to prove his Christian credentials in a televised Jew-hating contest. 

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CHINA GIVES SPARE OPENING CEREMONY SEATS TO TOP EXECUTIONERS
14-04-08

SEATS at the Olympic opening ceremony, boycotted by western leaders, are to be given to some of China's star executioners, the Beijing government said last night.

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IRELAND BEGINS SEARCH FOR NEW CHIEF LEPRECHAUN
03-04-08

IRELAND'S leprechaun catchers were grabbing their nets and pulling on their boots last night as the country began it's search for a new leader.

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